Wednesday, September 19, 2012

9/19/2012-Wine...oh, I mean "time" heals all...

It took me about about a month to write Blog #1;  Baby#1: River's Story
I don't know how long it will take me to write the story of Baby #2, Reed.
River's story was the most difficult thing that I've ever written, and things don't exactly improve from there.
I feel like I have to write the stories to process the emotions. Because bottling them up, outside of my one hour a week therapy appointment, just isn't working.
Speaking of bottling things up...I will quit the wine..when I have good reason to.
One of the only things getting me by right now, as I fight against the Captain to start looking into IVF (because he needs A LOT of time to process ANYTHING INVOLVING FEELINGS - he may, in fact, be due for a system overhaul...or even just, some new anti-virus software), is good old alcohol. Perhaps this is a hallmark of an alcoholic, but, IMHO, 1 -2 glasses of wine per day does not an alcoholic make. Right?
I don't know, but this is how I am getting by. I'm also pretty sure that Jesus drank more than me.
 I'm also pretty sure that antidepressants are failing me at this point. I mean, I'm not suicidal...not today, anyway. But there have been times.
But for right now, I'm going to enjoy a glass of Cupcake winery's "Red Velvet." With some Hawaiian pizza, and Season 1 of Heroes.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry for your losses. River and Reed will not be forgotten.

    Keep writing if it helps even the slightest. We are here to support you.